sugar coma

now i know what it means to walk in a winter wonderland. one boy throwing a snowball at anotha. a girl opening her mouth to catch some flakes. and me, debating whether or not to remove my poor frigid right hand from the warmth of my new glove so i can record it all. whatevah, my hand has all spring to warm up. and fingerless gloves, by the way, are so not the answer to my prayers. neither is this new gps i bought. that i thought would keep me on the straight and narrow. but nope. still walkin in circles. perhaps it is my destiny.

sometimes it’s nice to know where i’m goin. sans maps. or hopstop. or crappy gadgets. that spit you out. onto scary side streets. that girls should not walk down. alone. at night. or evah. so i took a lil walk in the hood today. a stroll you might say. i’m learning to slow my roll. just a tad. so i can spot things like this.

umbrella, ella, ella, eh eh eh

ok, i might not have a french bank account. or french cellie. or monthly metro pass. or map of this beautiful city. with all its teeny-tiny rues. that i can’t evah find. but you know what i do have? my monoprix valued customer card! which means now there could be some sort of reward system. for blowing all my euros in one place. on bourjois smokey eye palettes. and chocolate biscuits. and apricot marmalade. and lawd knows what else magically ends up in my cart when i walk thru those doors. and trust me, i always find a reason to walk thru those doors.

tonight’s monoprix mission: get an umbrella. i’m not a huge fan of rain. even just an on-off drizzle. in fact especially an on-off drizzle. it’s like, commit one way or the other! either you’re raining or you’re not. but the wetter the streets get, the easier it is to see my reflection in them. so i may grow to like this water-falling-from-the-sky thing afta all…

perhaps the drizzle is a sign. to stop wavering. even with something as seemingly simple as a choice in umbrella. i had to take a time out. from all the options. to sit on my bench just down the street. which i discovered yesterday. it was there that i realized the secret to meeting frenchies: always have cigs. it’s a nice change of pace to have someone ask me for something. afta two weeks of: comment dit-on? ou est le metro? and, in moments of grand defeat: parlez vous anglais? “cigarette?” “bien sur!” and then i thanked him. um awkward.

then i walked back. and got the cheapest umbrella available. and that, my friends, is how you make a decision. altho i didn’t use it the whole way home. out of protest. cuz the truth is: i didn’t like it. or any of the countless others. and yes, i understand that it’s ridiculous to feel you need to love your umbrella. in order to use it.

now onto more important decisions. like which wine i should drink before bedtime…finally met the lovely dude renting me his place. and he offered up a choice. to go with the bottle i know. or try something new. seems to be a recurring theme.

must. get. out. of. comfort. zone. says the girl who can’t stop playing the same song ovah and ovah and ovah again…

i’m a wanderer

in a land of wanderers.

le flaneur, a stroller, as the frenchies say. altho i’m not much for strolling. more of a haul arse kinda girl. even as i aimlessly roam. i don’t know where i’m going. but i’m gonna get there. fast. especially in this bittah cold. with only one glove to keep me warm at night. yes, that’s right, after several weeks of trying to leave, my lil tan hand-warmer walked out on me for good. and now i have the one. to remind me of all the times i passionately reunited with the otha. at notre dame, when i returned to the scene almost an hour later. in the restaurant on the champs elysees, as the waiter rushed afta me. in the metro,  when i ran back inside the train to scoop it off the ground, narrowly escaping before the doors closed. we had some good times togetha, glove.

also not proud to say: my hat is no longer among my earthly possessions. i would tell you the otha thing i lost. but i don’t want you all to think i’m losing my mind. just my shiz. okay, a hint: i left it in the door when i got home last night. the otha side of the door…but these strangers…who i guess i could call my neighbors…for now. well you know how it goes. i got it back. you win some, you lose some. let’s hope the important stuff lands in the win pile…

as i walk these rues, carelessly littering my hats and gloves on the ground, i often think, hey, you should really get a map. so you know where the eff you’re going. and then i realize, i don’t need no map. let the monuments be my guide.